In our house you can see the master bedroom from the dining room table. Because our room always on display I have become neurotic about the bed being made. But here's my secret--I am awful at making beds. It's not that I don't know the proper way, it's that I just don't care. I don't need the corners of the sheets to be perfect and I don't have to have the crisp hospital folds on the edges. All I need is for the bed to look neat. That basically means the sheets are pulled up, the comforter is smooth, and the pillows are in their place.
We have three young children so a mattress cover is a necessity (our oldest had awful reflux and his spit up stained our old mattress). We have this super comfortable quilted one on our new mattress and while it serves a great purpose, it drives me crazy! It is always lumpy. Every morning I would have to take off the sheets and reposition it to get it super smooth. But again, I don't care that much, so I pull up the sheets and comforter and smooth out the mattress cover lumps and hide them under a pillow. You can call me lazy, but unless it's sheet washing day I am not spending more than five minutes making a bed.
And as silly as that story may seem, I am reminded of how many times I have treated things in my life like that mattress cover. I have had things that needed to be fixed but for whatever reason I chose to ignore them by smoothing them to a place no one can see and made sure that I carried myself in a way that looked put together on the outside.
The problem with that logic is that my life is more than a blanket. Anyone who sees my bed would think it's properly made, the pillows and comforter hide it's secret. But my life isn't as simple as that. Sure, it's not important for you to know every bump and lump I am hiding in my life, but usually if I am so concerned with hiding my problems fro everyone else, than I'm probably hiding them from God too.
Why is it so hard to be real and honest with myself? What is wrong admitting to God that I have pain? Why am I afraid to say that I have a struggle? Am I fearful that it exposes a weakness when I say that I might not have it all together?
I shouldn't be intimidated to expose my inner self to God. I don't have to pretend I am perfect when I talk to Him. He already knows every single secret I have tucked away, but He's waiting for me to show Him.
And maybe this comes easy for you to do but I can find it difficult at times. I like to appear strong, I like to act like I have it all together, and I don't enjoy admitting I need help. So falling before God and saying that I am not always together is hard for me to do.
Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
I Peter 5:7 NKJV
But the Word of God says that I can give Him all of my cares, all of my worries, all of my pain because He cares for me. He is there is love me. When I open my heart and give Him my life He can help me. I have to remind myself of that when I try to smooth out the wrinkles in my life on my own. When I put the smile on my face that tells everyone else that I am perfectly fine, I have to remember that He cares. When I am with Him I can be weak, He cares for me, even with all of my flaws. Not only does He care, but He wants to help. If I'm honest with Him and admit I need Him, He will help me. The help may require me to change, I may have to give up my control, but His solution is always better than my own.
The next time I have the urge to tuck away the lumps in my life I need to remember He cares for me and wants me to give Him my hidden secrets. He doesn't want me to quickly pull up the blankets and put on the pretty, instead He wants me to hand Him what is hidden underneath because He cares for me.
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