As I sit here writing this I'm looking out of our windows facing the backyard. It's a warm windy evening and the swings on my children's play set are swinging without any human help, toys are being blown across the back porch, and the trees are swaying in the distance. It's obvious there is a storm heading this way. Looking from the inside I wouldn't describe the scene as peaceful.
Inside my home I just finished helping one child pick up more Legos than a kid should probably own, rocked a crying infant to sleep, and comforted another son after he got in a small fight with our dog. If you were standing outside and looked into our house you probably wouldn't describe it as peaceful.
However, something God has been teaching me and I am trying so hard to remember is that peace is not determined by the outside circumstances. The chaotic scene that surrounds our life does not define peace. Peace is the internal calm that God gives us when we let Him guide us through the storm.
About four years ago we were expecting our second child. I had a healthy, fairly easy first pregnancy and I was optimistic that this would not be any different. However, at our thirteen week appointment there was no heartbeat detected. We were devastated at the news and we were in a bit of a shock that this could happen to us. This miscarriage shook our world.
I prayed for healing and I prayed for peace in my life but I didn't seem to find it. The actual miscarriage landed me in the emergency room bleeding more than I should. I was scared and horrified as they told me they removed the sac and fetus and I cried as they took it out in a plastic jar. Every time I thought I was getting past the news I would have another physical reminder that I was no longer pregnant and we would not have a baby to hold when we expected. I thought that praying for peace meant it would all go away and it would be calm in my life again.
Around the same time I remember my church singing a Mark Condon song called "Cover Me" and l buried the lyrics deep in my heart that day. The lyrics say "Peace God, cover me, though the storm, cover me." It didn't say "Peace of God, stop the storm," which is what I typically seemed to pray.
I was reminded that day that storms do not always stop to make my life easier. Storms are going to come in my life, but that does not mean I do not have the peace of God. That peace may not stop my storm, but instead it will lead me through it while covering me. I can face a storm in my life and get through it with His covering. I don't have to run through it senseless and scared. I can walk through it, holding His hand and have a calm I cannot explain.
I wish I could say that was the only storm my family has faced, but it's not. We have experienced financial storms, health storms, and normal storms that any normal family will experience. But each time that I look around and I begin feel chaos of my surroundings I remember that God is in control. There is a calm in my spirit that He gives me.
That calmness reminds me that peace is not defined by the winds blowing around me. Peace is also not defined by a quiet, uneventful environment.
When an outdoor storm happens there is always such a peace after it has passed. I have to remember the same in my life--in order to define a true peace, I might have to first experience the storm. But I don't have to experience it alone.
The alerts in my world remind me something big may be coming my way and sometimes warn me to take cover, and I do. I run to Him, He is my cover, He is my peace.
"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:7
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